


POV: You Are The Witness Being 'Interrogated'

by ShinyMew



Category: Drawfee RPF, Drawtectives - Fandom
Genre: A Murder is mentioned but is in the background, Am I Being Flirted With? I Can't Tell: A Memoir By You, Drawtectives, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Implied polytectives, Reader-Insert, Swearing, interrogations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:33:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28121676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShinyMew/pseuds/ShinyMew
Summary: You were just trying to live an ordinary life in Fancy Town. But a murder at your place of employment leads to you meeting an interesting group of detectives.aka, A fic literally no one asked for but that I was compelled to write
Relationships: Reader & The Drawtectives, You & The Drawtectives
Comments: 6
Kudos: 17





	POV: You Are The Witness Being 'Interrogated'

You were so fucked.

You paced the length of the break room repeatedly, cursing your terrible luck.

‘Get a job’, your parents had said ‘It’ll teach you a good work ethic and keep you out of trouble.’ Well a fat lot of good it did! You were a waitress at a cute little family restaurant, using the funds to help pay off your tuition at the nearby Fancy Town University. Normally you would say you liked your job more than you disliked it. Being so close to campus meant most of the guests you served were fellow students, who give you looks of true understanding, and tipped you _at least_ the minimum 20% (most didn’t tip you any more, but as a fellow broke college student, you couldn’t fault them for that), This job had become part of your routine, you worked long shifts on days you didn’t have classes. An average, unexciting existence.

Today your routine had been broken.

During the dead zone of the shift (3:30pm) there was only the one regular, old Mr. Nelson, as a guest in the restaurant. Somehow during that lull, the head cook was murdered in the kitchen. No witnesses. The police were quickly called to the scene and the few employees (plus poor Mr. Nelson) were shoved into separate rooms to be interviewed individually. The interview hadn’t been to terrible, you just explained what you were doing In the lead up to the body being discovered (sweeping around the outside of the establishment, not that there were any witnesses).

No, the biggest problem was yet to come.

You had heard the officers stationed outside the breakroom chatting about it. It seemed a private investigator had been called to the scene by the owner. P.I. Jancy True was coming. Even you’d heard of her before, she was famous, consulting with the police on a number of high-profile cases. Like the murder of that big shot, Soren Justice, a few months ago.

Which brings us back to your frantic pacing.

You didn’t kill the cook, but you were still beyond nervous to speak to the P.I. You heard she was one of the smartest people in all of Fancy Town. What if she thinks you killed the cook?! If someone like that put the blame on you, you’d be doomed, there was no way you could afford a good lawyer.

You pacing intensified as you train of thought spiraled to worst case scenarios. Ten steps to the door, ten steps to the sink. Ten steps to the door, ten steps to the sink. Ten steps to the door, ten steps to the sink—

“Hey.”

A hand landed on your shoulder, and in your frazzled state you acted without thinking.

“ _M-murderer!!_ ” You whipped around, dislodging the hand and swung your fist desperately. You were no warrior; you’d never been in a fight in your life. But desperate times called for desperate measures!

Before your first could connect with anything, a hand enclosed the wrist of your punching arm. Another hand quickly grabbed under your arm, and your momentum was used to drag you closer to the assailant. The world flipped as you were hurled over someone’s shoulder, landing flat on your back across the floor with a painful thud.

Dazed, you could do little more than stare at the ceiling as unfamiliar voices argued above you.

“ _Yooooork_ ” this voice was higher pitched than the one you’d heard before, and the speaker sounded exasperated.

“Impressive.” This was definitely the person who spoke earlier, their drawling accent was pretty distinct. “Aren’t many human’s here in Fancy Town brave enough to take a swing at me,”

“You didn’t have to judo flip them though!”

“I can’t decline a challenge Rosé, you know that!”

“Ahem. Let’s just chill.” A third, warm voice interrupted.

You tilted your head back, blinking as you were faced with an upside-down pair of sandaled feet. The figure bent forward at the waist to make eye contact from above with you. They had a kind face, shaded by their sun hat, and hidden in part by an impressive beard. Taking height into consideration, they appeared to be a dwarf.

“Sorry about my friend.” The dwarf began, smiling at you. “He’s from a place with a lot of fighting so his automatic response is to fight back. You aren’t hurt, are you?”

You shook your head, and their smile widened. “Good. I’m Grandma by the way, and you can use male pronouns for me, if you were wondering. Hey York! You did this so help…them?” Grandma, who had turned to shout at his companion(?), glance back at you in question. At your nod, he continued “Help them up!”

“Gotcha. Will do.” The gravely voice agreed.

Thudding footsteps approached your prone floor, a for second all you could think was ‘How did these people even sneak up on me in the first place?!” The thought flew from your head as an incredibly tall, incredibly buff Half-Orc leaned over you and grabbed your upper arms, pinning them to your sides. With nary a trance of effort you were lifted into the air and held at eye level with the half-orc.

Which for you meant a good two feet or so off the ground.

“This is York.” Grandma explained cheerfully. “He’s my good friend. You can put them down now, York.”

With surprising care, you were set back on to the floor.

“And this lovely lady is Rosé.”

“Nice to meet you.” The final member of their strange trio, a young human woman, said politely.

Actually, she looked about your age.

“Uh-I-um” You stuttered, smoothing out your uniform “Sorry about trying to punch you, York. I just wasn’t expecting anyone else….WAIT! Why’re you guys here? This is a crime scene, how’d you even get in?!”

“Oh, we’re here to interview you.” Granma responded matter-of-factly.

“We’re the Private Investigators.” Rosé elaborated.

“ _You?_ ” Wow, that sounded kind of rude didn’t it? “Sorry, I didn’t mean—I just thought someone else was going to be coming.”

“You heard Jancy was coming? She’s our boss, so it’s fine.” York said.

“Oh, um, in that case, we can just…” You gestured helplessly to the table.

The four of you sat down, the three investigators on one side and you on the other.

Being stared at by them as you answered their questions was…a lot, but you forced yourself to focus. This interview was much less professional the first, there was more yelling, and more side tangents. You did your best to answer all their questions, even the seemingly unrelated, out of left field ones, as you explained what you had done and who you had interreacted with prior to the murder.

You thought you were killing it, which is why it was bit unnerving to see the investigators’ expressions get more confused and pinched as you continued to talk.

“…and that was when the police came, and put me in this room.”

“That’s it?” Rosé asked frowning over Grandma’s shoulder at the notes had taken during the interview.

“I-I don’t follow.”

“There’s _nothing_ else?” York asked, scowling.

What the hell? You weren’t sure what you’d done wrong but it must have been bad. Did you say something suspicious without realizing it? At this rate, maybe you would get accused after all.

“I-I, that is, n-no there’s nothing else.” You squeaked. Nice going, nothing less suspicious that freaking out in the face of easy questions.

The three of them shared a look.

“Grandma” York hissed, clearly trying to keep you from hearing, “Do the thing.”

Grandma’s frown deepened. “Are you sure now’s the best time?”

Rosé nodded “I’m with York, this is an unprecedented situation. There’s got to be something we’re missing”

You had completely lost the thread on this conversation. Grandma apparently agreed, setting down his notebook and folding his hands-on top of the table.

“Hey could you do me a favor and look me in the eyes when I ask this next question?”

That was a weird request. Well, people had all sorts of tics when they lied and stuff, maybe they thought your eyes were yours. Still, direct eye contact? This was gonna be difficult. But you had to do it! Your future was at stake!

Screwing up your courage, you looked Grandma square in the eyes.

“You’ve been acting really weird this entire interview, and you seem really nervous. Could you tell me why?”

His voice was soft, and his smile was kind. It was like looking at a puppy, he appeared to you like the embodiment loyalty and goodness. If you were to trust one person in this gods forsaken world it would be him. The world seemed almost to fall away. You were filled with an immense desire to help him, all you needed to do was answer his question honestly. You could do that!

“Y-y-you’re all super attractive and its incredibly distracting!”

A moment of dead silence followed your outburst.

“I—run that one by me again?” Grandma was no longer smiling. In fact, he looked positively baffled, tipping his hat back as his eyes scanned your face in confusion.

With an embarrassed yelp you slammed your face into the table to avoid having to look at them all any longer. You heard a vaguely concerned noise from the dwarf across the table, but you firmly ignored it. How could you just _blurt out something like that_??? You’d never been so embarrassed in your _life_.

Actually.

“Hey York.” You mumble, raising your head just enough to peak out at him from behind your arms. “You’re super strong, right? Could you do me a favor and just like, snap my neck? I’d really appreciate you putting me out of my misery.”

The orc blinked in surprise, glancing between you and his co-workers “Uhhhhhhhhhh.”

“No murder!” Grandma insisted.

You dropped your head back onto the table with a groan.

“Grandma,” you heard Rosé whisper “it…it did work, didn’t it?”

Did _what_ work?

“Yeah it did. They’re telling the truth.” He whispered back in amazement.

You had no idea what they were talking about, but if they were whispering you probably weren’t mean to hear anyway.

“…So that really was it? You told us everything?” York asked, sounding dumbstruck.

You looked up again. “I did. I promise I’m not lying. Sorry, I’m sure nothing I said was of any help--!”

“No, it’s fine!” Rosé hastened to assure you. “Even knowing where people _weren’t_ at certain times is useful. We didn’t mean to make you think you’d been useless; we just aren’t used to our interrogations going this well.”

You looked between the three of them, baffled. “This is what constitutes an interview going _well_?”

“ _Yes.”_ Rosé and York sighed in unison.

“Thank you for your help.” Grandma said with a beautiful smile, “I’m not exaggerating when I say you are the most helpful witness we’ve ever had the pleasure of talking to.”

You felt you face turn bright red. In the face of their smiles, you were stun locked. You stammered, trying to say something, _anything_ in response to their kind words.

“What are you doing, children?” a dignified voice interrupted.

You jumped a foot in the air, whipping your head towards the door. For the second time that day, that hour even, you had been snuck up on. Standing in the doorway was an older human. They wore an expensive looking business suit and carried a cane. Their grey hair was swept back of their face and they wore a stoic expression.

Oh fuck. You recognized that face.

That was P.I. Jancy True. Guess she finally got tired of waiting outside.

“Jancy!” your interviewers called out in surprise.

“Uh, we were just—” York began.

“—finishing our interrogation.” Rosé continued looking at her mentor oddly, almost annoyed.

P.I. True’s eyes fell on you, and unconsciously you straightened in your seat, sitting all the way up. The weight of her gaze was a palpable thing, and you suddenly understood why this woman was so well respected in her field. It felt like she could read you like a book, that she knew your deepest secrets after a single glance.

The P.I. raised a single eyebrow. “An ‘interrogation? Is that what we’re calling it?” she asked dryly. “Are you quite finished here? We are under a strict time limit as I’m sure you remember.”

“Fuck.” York, who clearly hadn’t remembered, stated emphatically.

Jancy turned her unimpressed gaze to the tallest of her students and you felt like you could breathe again. Damn, she had totally seen through you, there was no way she didn’t. This was so embarrassing

“We still have three witnesses left to question. I f you have nothing left to ask this one, we best move along.”

Rosé looked back at you. “Was there anything else you needed to tell us?”

You shook your head frantically “N-nope. I already told you everything I know.”

“Well then” Grandma hopped out of his chair and started heading for the door. “We’ll be going then. Thanks again for talking to us.”

“Thanks” York said, leaving the room.

“Thank you.” Rosé chimed in as well, walking out.

Jancy gave you a solemn nod and shut the door behind the group.

You collapsed against the table, utterly exhausted. The P.I. Jancy True was even more terrifying than you’d heard. And to work with her without flinching, those kids must have spines of steel or something. What a scary group of people.

It was totally unfair.

Did you have to be crazy hot to work at that office, or what?!

\--

After a few more hours of ~~wallowing in your self pity~~ patiently waiting for things to calm down, an officer open your door and informed you that a suspect had been arrested and you were free to go home. You retrieved your phone the officers, grabbed you bag and headed out the employee exit in the back.

You heard a commotion coming from the front and decided to take a peek around the corner. There were still a ton of police cars, and now a flock of reporters had descended on the restaurant too. No way you were getting involved in that mess.

Turning around you bumped into someone, knocking your heads together. Sheesh, this was third time someone had snuck up on you today!

“Sorry! I wasn’t paying attention.” You apologized rubbing your head.

“Nah, it’s fine. Its hard to even hear yourself think over all the noise those reporters are making.”

Your head snapped up at the voice.

“R- Rosé! I-I didn’t think you were still here.” You stammered “Shouldn’t you be answering questions with P.I. True?”

“Jancy said it’s too soon for us apprentices to make a public appearance just yet.” She explained “Grandma and York already went on ahead I just had to come back for something I…forgot.”

“Oh well, I’ll get out of your way. Great work today.” You said with a weak smile and a wave “Have a nice night.”

“You too.” Rosé replied with a wink. “Have a nice night.”

And then she was gone, speed walking down the street to avoid the swarm of journalists.

With a sigh, you turned to head home as well. Sticking your hands in your pockets though, you were met with the crinkling of paper. Confused, you fished out the offending object, holding it up to examine it.

_‘Call us sometime!’_

The message was written out in a neat hand, followed by a phone number, and three chibi drawings of York, Rosé, and Grandma.

You face became a burning red as you reread the note a dozen times. When did they even get this to you?! Still, you couldn’t help a delighted giggle. Those three sure were something special.

Maybe you should find yourself at crime scenes more often!

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is. I almost feel like I should apologize for this haha. I thought up the title and I knew I had to write this. So here's a fic of 'flirting' with the Polytectives themselves.  
> If anyone was wondering: Yes, the reason that the drawtectives were so confused that they used Grandma's 'Dog Whisperer' ability is because you were voluntarily giving them useful info and not forcing them to do some sort of drawing prompt in return, lol.   
> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed whatever this was!


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